Remember the way you felt when he proposed? It’s one of those out-of-this-world experiences the moment you realize you are going to spend the rest of your life with the one you love.
Elation bubbles to the surface when you stare at that super-sparkly ring for hours on end. When you remember word-for-word {or try to at least} what he said when he proposed. When you dream about what the wedding will be like, what your dress will look like, and how you’ll be the Princess-For-a-Day.
And it’s not JUST about the wedding day. What about waking up next to him every morning? Sharing your dreams and fears and joys? Going through the ups and downs of daily life…but to know you get to do so together?
I can’t think of a better word to describe what the idea of getting married is like for many who are still waiting on that day.
But what happens when elation turns to frustration? We enter into marriage knowing it’s not going to be perfect. We can’t predict the trials we’ll face or exactly what formerly adorable characteristic of our spouse will eventually start to bug after a month or two under the same roof.
It was one of the most difficult things for me about being newly married. Because I still wanted to be elated! I thought something was wrong with me. Until I started to be honest—with myself and with the Husband. And then with trusted friends who loved me enough to be truthful about their struggles without judging me for mine.
Once we got past “yours and mine”—whether it was about our stuff or the way we did things differently—we were able to work through the frustration to get back to elation. But now I think I’d give it a different word—contentment.
What were you elated about when it came to your thoughts about marriage?
Photo Credit: © IKO – Fotolia.com
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
You are really gifted and insightful, Merritt. I’m enjoying reading your A-Z’s immensely. Good stuff!
Thanks Stacey – I kinda had a hard time with this one…but I so appreciate your encouragement!
Great post! Very honest, and like you said, honestly helped lead you back to elation. I think communication is key. My husband proposed to me on the Scrabble board…but I knew it wouldn’t all be “fun and games” forever. You get out of it what you put into it, people say. I haven’t found all the magic ingredients to put into it just yet! Good luck with your A to Z-ing!
What a cute idea! Was he clever enough to work it into his words on the board? If so – that’s impressive!! If you do ever figure out the magic ingredients, let me know! For us, the best thing has been consistently living out our faith with one another and putting God first before our spouse. Thanks for coming by today!
What an insightful posts, I think many times people are so focused on the “wedding” they forget about the stuff beyond it. I know it was incredibly hard for me to give up some control, to allow things to be done in a way that strayed from the way I thought they should be done. Getting over the little humps in marriage can be hard (mine turned out to be more like mountains) but I truly believe if you can keep the lines of communication and trust open everything will smooth out. Rough times come and go, it is part of life, having someone to share the good and bad with is priceless. I love your word for it – Contentment. That is such a wonderful feeling and for me can be better than elation. Contentedness will last the ages.
Congratulations on your marriage, I love love love your socks in your header picture!!
Hi Angel, Thanks for your thoughtful comment full of wisdom! And I agree, though elation feels good in the moment, contentment has more staying power–it’s worth it to do the work to find our way to contentment rather than desperately wanting those feelings of elation to return.
Love your comment about the socks! When I visualized what the photo would look like for the header, the socks were the only thing that I couldn’t do without! You made me smile today!
A lot is packaged into that little word. I was elated over the fact I would never ever have to say good bye to him at night!!!! I hated the ticking down of the clock that always signified he had to leave!!!
I love the lady in green, jumping through the air. Makes me wonder what she was so elated about……probably the paycheck she would receive from her photography shoot : )
Hee-hee! Gotta love the stock photos, right?
I’m with you. Not having to say good-bye at night was a true winner for us too! Oh, those seemed like such painful moments!
My hubby and I loved together for 2 years before getting married, so we already knew what irked us at each other and were perfectly fine with it.
Great post, though. I really like how you depicted the perfectly normal situation of needing to work back to elation.
Thanks for sharing!
*lived together – hahaha! But loved also fits
Ha! Yes it does.
Thanks for your comment!