by Merritt on April 6, 2012

It’s a powerful word that means more than just avoiding the act of being unfaithful. It’s all about where your heart and mind are and whether they are FOR your marriage or against it.

When we get married, hardly any of us consider that one day we might not actually feel the same head-over-heels way we did on our wedding day. At that moment, it’s hard to imagine anything but butterflies and rose petals. But as I mentioned yesterday, elation can quickly become frustration and how you deal with that is totally up to you.

You can choose to be faithful to your spouse, your vows and your commitment to the marriage or you can allow a seed of bitterness, resentment or unfaithfulness to be planted in the foundation of your relationship. Ask anyone who’s been party to an affair {whether physical or emotional} and inevitably they will admit it started out with something small—a little flirtation here, a minor sense of dissatisfaction there, a day-dream about Mr. or Miss so-and-so-at-work or the thought that the grass must be greener elsewhere.

Some will say, “Those are harmless thoughts/actions.” Or “I’m not hurting anyone.” But those are lies. Faithfulness is a choice you make every day. On the good days, it’s easy. But it’s those bad days where the decision really counts—whether it’s in the face of temptation, hurt feelings, anger, dissatisfaction or laziness.

How would you answer these questions?

  • Would you ever ride in a car or have a meal alone with someone of the opposite sex? Why or why not?
  • Do you have any secrets from your spouse?
  • Are there any conversations you’ve had that you’d be embarrassed or anxious about if you knew your spouse had been listening?
  • Do you have an emotional connection with someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse?

What about these?

  • Do you talk about your spouse with the utmost respect, especially when he or she is not present?
  • Do your actions communicate faithfulness towards your spouse and your marriage?
  • Is your marriage a top priority in your life?
  • If a neutral party examined how you spend your time, money and thoughts would your faithfulness to your spouse be obvious to them?
  • How do you handle disappointment in your spouse/marriage?

If you were looking for something a little less weighty, check out my previous posts from the AtoZ Challenge: Always, Beloved, Conflict, Date Night and Elation. Or come back tomorrow to see what I write for the letter G!

Photo credit: © Liaurinko –

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Heather Musk April 6, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I really enjoyed this post. I am getting married in a little under four months and at times the enormity of it has weighed on my mind. I find this a bit odd as my fiance and I have been together for 10 years.
I found that all my answers to the questions posed here helped to reinforce that we are on the right path together.
I know that it won’t all be an easy ride, but there is no other person that I would want to go through it with.

Excellent post!


Merritt April 6, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Hi Heather – Congratulations on your engagement! It IS an enormous decision, and I don’t think it’s unusual to go through a little questioning and doubting before the wedding. It sounds like you two have already done the hard work (and put in a lot of time) to determine compatibility and where your heart is in the decision. Once you seal the deal, your decision is made and it’s a daily choice of love and faithfulness, even when it’s hard. Thanks so much for sharing your story…and best wishes to you and your fiance’ as you prepare for marriage!


Elizabeth April 6, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Faithfulness, like so many other things in a marriage – and life in general – is a choice. I’m so glad you mentioned that.


Merritt April 6, 2012 at 3:35 pm

You’re right – it’s like SO many things in life. But sometimes we forget…because some choices are harder to make than others. Thanks for your comment!


Katy@OurSimpleLoveStory April 6, 2012 at 1:52 pm

This is so important! Great post!


Merritt April 6, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Thanks Katy!


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