Are you generous with your spouse or do you find yourself withholding instead of giving? We are often generous with the people we care about, like our family, friends and neighbors. We are generous with those in need. But how generous are we with our spouse?
I’ve been mulling this one over for a few days since I was struggling {again} to come up with a topic for today’s post. I can think of a handful of ways generosity benefits a marriage. If you come up with some others, help me out and share them in the comments below. Here goes:
Are you generous…
…with your time—both time together and time apart?
…with your forgiveness—are you quick to forgive?
…in listening when your spouse needs to talk—really listening rather than trying to solve?
…in your physical relationship—do you “give” more than you “receive” and if so, do you give with a joyful heart?
…with your vulnerability and honesty—are you sharing deeply from the heart?
…with your possessions—are your belongings “mine” or “ours”?
What other ways can we be generous with our spouse?
Photo credit: © John Gavin Shurmer – Fotolia.com
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I sometimes need to be generous with my optimism. My line of work requires me to be a constant cheerleader to my clients as they go through the Social Security Disability process. When my husband comes home, I feel drained of my usual perkiness at times. So, I find that when I take 30-45 mins right after work to rejuvenate myself – whether it’s a long prayer walk around the block, reading a book or even taking a nap – I’m in a much better state to be there for my husband, especially during busy season.
Oh, optimism is such a good addition to the list. I need that too! If I’m tired or frustrated after a long day and we try to have a conversation…especially about what’s important to him…I am not always in the best place to be positive and encouraging. Thanks, Katy, for sharing this and for the suggestion to take the time I need so I can be a supportive wife!
Hi Merritt- This whole post made me think of the Bible study our small group just finished called iMarriage. It was an interesting study about how we enter into marriage often with a list of desires of what ‘I’ need and often assume that our partner is going to assume this list of expectations. For me, I think it’s realizing that I have my list of desires, but that does not necessarily mean they automatically become expectations I can place upon my husband. I think it’s the balance of you/me/we.
Hi Erin – I’ve never heard of that study, but it sounds great! What you say is so true. It’s a rude awakening when you figure out that desires don’t equal expectations (or when they do, it can be painful and discouraging). Before I was married I had a friend tell me about serving my husband in marriage…it was kind of a foreign concept at the time, but I think I’m getting better at being less self-focused. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
There’s a book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, by Gary Chapman that is truly excellent. If you haven’t read it you may want to check it out. The basic idea is that everyone “speaks” one of five love languages. There’s a test for each of you to take to determine your language, and chapters on how to “speak” each one. It’s a wonderful tool! After reading it you can really start to look at some things in very different way, and learn what you can do every day that is truly meaningful for your spouse.
Hi Danielle! I actually just posted today (for the letter L in the A-to-Z Challenge) about the Five Love Languages. It’s a great book (though it’s been years since I’ve read it all the way through) and the lessons have been wonderful in our marriage. Thanks for stopping by to say hi!