Well, they’re not my in-laws–they’re the Husband’s.
I love the sweet relationship my parents have! They laugh, have fun and truly enjoy each other's company.
My parents are here from California this week–for a week! Thankfully, we live in a two-bedroom, two-bath condo so it’s just the right size for guests. There’s a small challenge in that my office is in the 2nd bedroom where they’re staying, but we all seem to adapt pretty well. They ARE my parents after all, and they are pretty self-sufficient while the Husband and I are putting in hours in front of our computers.
Yesterday they went to Whole Foods for coffee and treats in the afternoon just to give me some breathing room to get my work done. Today, they toured around with a few real estate agents to see if they might like to move to Colorado some day. 
Thankfully the four of us have our evenings {and the whole weekend} together. But we’re already about halfway through their visit. The days seem to go quickly the closer it gets to their departure. I was hoping we’d have time for a hike in Eldorado Canyon State Park. Maybe an afternoon when Mom and I could go for massages and pedicures. Definitely an evening cookout with some of our new couple-friends we’ve met since we moved here. But with just over 3 days left, it’ll be difficult to fit it all in.
The Husband did so much to help prepare for their visit. It’s a sweet blessing to know he enjoys spending time my parents. {In fact, as I sit here writing this, he’s down stairs talking with my mom about their day.}
He’s a natural at entertaining guests; always has been. But this time he’s done more than just hang out. In fact, he did pretty much all the cleaning of their bedroom and bathroom last weekend. He even noticed our kitchen becoming progressively darker over the last few weeks because of burned out light bulbs–so he replaced them all! He had a whole list of other things he wanted to do before they arrived. I hate to say it, but I think he might have accomplished more than I did before they got here.
I’m not sure what I expected our relationship to look like with our respective parental units once we were married. It was definitely something we talked about in our pre-marital classes and counseling. Unfortunately, we live more than 1,000 miles from both sets so we don’t face some of the daily challenges or have the other benefits that other families might have {but who knows, that could change some day!}. So, I have to ask…
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
We’ve been married for nearly a year, and I have to say my relationship with my sister-in-laws have been more challenging than with my husband’s parents. My husband’s brother married a girl from their church, so not only are his parents very close with her parents but my husband’s sister and the other wife are very close as well. My sister-in-laws are also much closer in age than I am to either of them (They’re 21 and 24. I’m 28) The hardest adjustment for me is feeling like I’m not part of the group. All of my husband’s family lives in a 45-minute radius from us, so we see them often. I know it seems like a silly thing, but I always assumed I’d be fast friends with whomever I married’s sister/sister-in-laws. We are so blessed thought to have family nearby. My husband’s parents are incredibly selfless people who are always there for us to help out. I just hope that one day I’ll be closer to my sister-in-laws.
Hi Sarah, thanks so much for commenting on this topic. I’d never really thought about siblings-in-law. Maybe, like you, I thought it would be easy. But the fact that there are three of you (including his sister) does seem challenging, especially if the other two knew each other before.
I’m not the greatest at navigating female relationships, but I hope over time you’ll find ways to initiate with both of them and do some things one-on-one and also the three of you. You might even try just honestly talking about how you feel to one or both of them, like, “I’d really like to have a closer relationship with you.” And then follow-up with invitations to do things together. I bet you they’d jump at the opportunity to get to know you better.
Thanks again for introducing a topic I hadn’t thought about!
Thanks for the encouragement to keep putting myself out there with them! I know it’s what I need to do, but my fear of rejection (rational or not) is paralyzing for me. Can we say playground flashbacks?! I appreciate the nudge to do something that deep down is really confronting my greatest fear.
Oh Sarah, I have such vivid memories of total rejection by two other girls/friends in 3rd grade. I didn’t know how to communicate. I didn’t know how to say what I wanted or felt. And what I learned there about “mean girls” still impacts me.
But now I’m reminded, we all struggle with insecurity. The girls that don’t seem insecure probably struggle with it the most. Offer yourself, your honest heart, your desire to bond with them and with time, maybe it’ll get easier. And even if it doesn’t, I encourage you to keep going back and trying, and trusting God with the result.
Keep me posted. I’d love a follow-up!
I have the greatest Mother in Law in the world, I have been constantly amazed by her generosity, sensitivity and love.
Good luck with the new iPad!
What a blessing Becky!
Thanks for commenting! (Loving the iPad…now I just have to figure out how it can help me do my work!)
Being the “mother-in-law” has been the most difficult transition I have ever had to make. As a single mom, it was always just the three of us. Now my boys have new women in their life. I try so hard to say the right things and not intrude in their lives. I pray for wisdom so that one day I may feel comfortable in this role.
Hi Dorothy – Yes, I think we forget that EVERYONE in the relationship is dealing with new feelings and sensitivities to the changes. I pray that God would do His work to bind you all together as a family. It may not look like your memories but you never know, there could be amazing fruit from those relationships! Thanks for sharing your honest, difficult feelings!